Dog Mom To The Rescue

Separation Anxiety

What can we do for ourselves that will end up helping our dogs? We can relax. As someone who suffers from anxiety on a daily basis, I know it is sometimes hard to relax. But did you know our dogs are mirroring us?

We are the cause of the majority of our dog's general anxiety.

How do you ask? We have them as companions and we work 8 hours and use the week to do morning and evening walks. Sometimes we have to hire a dog walker or send them to daycare. Weekends and evenings are often our only time for active engagement.

When we leave for work, we do huge good by getting them in a playful mood - but then we leave. What are they going to do to release that playful energy? They can bark, find their own fun by tearing it up through the garbage, chew your clothes, especially if they are unclear whether you will come back to them. It is helpful to have a simple one-cue sentence to let them know you will return. I say (and have my family say) "See you Later" every time we leave. When we come home, after consistently using this cue, my dog is less likely to be jumping up at you or a guest. We walk in head up and we use a quiet voice to say hello, and once she is calm we give her a quick calm pet.

Think about when you walk through an airport. What are the visuals, sound inputs? If that overwhelms you, look through your dog's eyes and see the constant movement and stressors they see and hear. There may be bikes, strollers, skateboards and different sounds near and far.

Separation Anxiety is a mixed bag, impacted by everything from how you have trained together to what kinds of trauma your dog has gone through.

Traumas: Getting into an altercation while on leash, shelter life (and being returned multiple times), Doggie Daycares can be overwhelming and can also be overstimulating for some dogs. Don't get me started with dog parks.

Life brings many unknowns:

Many owners don't realize what socialization for dogs means, so they send their dog to daycare or they go to dog parks as well as dog beaches. Originally I thought these were all good. But through my education and my experience working at doggie daycares, I saw the ways in which they were not uniformly positive - from overcrowding to not having large outdoor space with real grass. Dog parks are the worst because there are often 5 or more dogs and usually an uneven number of humans-to-dog ratio. Many humans are merely average at understanding dog body language. Many people also think it's the responsibility of the dogs to correct themselves.

In actuality, it is people who need to correct a dog who is being a bully, especially the ones who don't have great listening skills. We are the ones who must advocate for our dogs and for a misunderstood dog.

5 Suggestions for ways to socialize your dog safely:

Go on Pack Walks with your friends in your neighborhood

It reinforces your dog's friendships, familiarizes your dog to the sights and sounds of the area, and gets you to socialize with other dog parents.

Go to parks with your dog on a long line and use treats in the grass to encourage sniffing

This encourages a dog to sniff, which stimulates their natural behavior. It also gets a dog to find other ways to focus their energies.

Use a backyard space to have dog-friend hangs where you use food and movement to build the pack's ability to calm down together faster.

This builds upon their grade school level, allowing them to learn to deal with distraction. It also allows them to be social with folks you trust.

Go to a friend's house and have dinner while your dogs play.

Working your way up to a more crowded house will give your dog a chance to build interactions with guests.

Go to dog-friendly cafes and depending on the grade school level of your dog, give your dog proper spacing from crowds of people and other dogs.

By giving your dog space, you allow them time to make better choices and encourage them to learn they are safe.

Another important skill to practice involves "Behavioral Downs" (BD's). These are a form of doggie meditation. If you want to practice Behavioral Downs, try sitting with your dog while they are wearing a flat buckle collar and a leash. You may read a book or watch a favorite show, while keeping your foot on the leash so that it has some slack. Your dog will get minimally frustrated, but will eventually relax. A dog needs to have a target behavior to hit: laying sideways, belly exposed and disengaged from the environment. It can take up to an hour but with some daily practice it'll take 30 to 45 minutes. This practice is teaching your dog that relaxation is its own reward.

Rules to follow when working on BD's

1. Always practice Dog meditation (BD's) at home.

2. Stay within your dog's grade school level

3. BD's should never be used for dogs with reactivity

Hope you all enjoy building a strong bond with your dog while reading along my journey. Look for my next blog posts every Monday.